We’ve all experienced insecurity at some point in our life, especially when it comes to significant others. Sometimes we question ourselves to the point where we wonder why another person would be interested in us. Does he notice my stretch marks? Why hasn’t she responded to my last message? Did he just like that girl’s picture on Instagram? These are all insecure thoughts some people have we when we’re just not feeling confident in ourselves and our relationship. In this case, you’re in charge of understanding and working through those insecurities in order to love yourself more. However, if your partner’s actions make you doubt yourself or the strength of your relationship, there’s a larger conversation to be had. Here are signs that your partner may be the source of your insecurity.
He/She Puts You Down
You should be the apple of his/her eye. If your partner rarely has nice things to say about you, why are they with you? This is a serious question to bring up, as that type of negativity can have a lasting impact on your emotional and mental health. In most cases, people put others down to lift themselves up. However, this treatment should not come from someone who says they care for you and your well-being.
You Feel Like an Outsider
If you and your partner are six months into your relationship and you still feel like an outsider, chances are it’s not in your head. Does he/she attend events without you and avoids introducing you to friends and family? There are a variety of reasons that could explain his behavior, but it’s not something you want to ignore. If he/she is excluding you from important parts of their life, it could leave you feeling insignificant, and the trust in your relationship can dwindle.
He/She Compares You to Others
If your partner has a coworker or friend that they can’t stop raving about and they are giving you the notion that they want you to be more like that person, it’s time to speak up. Having a work wife/husband can be normal for some, but a boundary is being crossed if your partner decides you should pull your hair back like Rebecca or you should lighten up like Rob. This can weigh on your security in yourself and open the door for doubt in your partner. Suddenly the idea of cheating comes to play. I’d like you to consider though that your partner may say these things innocently without realizing the impact it’s having. So I’d suggest expressing how his/her statements are bothering you and give them a chance to apologize and stop the comparisons.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.