Speaking Your Partner’s Love Language

In the previous post, we began discussing the 5 Love Languages. Today, we’ll focus on speaking your partner’s love language. 

Things to Remember About Love Languages: 

-To speak their love  language, you must understand what to say & what not to say.

-Even if someone else’s love language feels ridiculous, remember to respect how they feel. Yours may seem weird to someone else. 

– Honest communication is the bedrock of a happy relationship. Communicate your feelings. 

Understanding Their Language


Communicate through: Encouraging, affirming, appreciating, & empathizing. Listen actively.

Take These Actions:  Send an unexpected  note, text, or card. Encourage them genuinely and often. 

Avoid Doing This: Non-constructive criticism, not recognizing or appreciating effort.


 Communicate through: Non-verbal-use body language and touch to emphasize love.

Take These Actions: Hug, Kiss, Hold hands, show physical affection regularly. Make intimacy a thoughtful priority. 

Avoid Doing This: Physical neglect, long stints without intimacy, receiving affecting coldly. 


Communicate through: Thoughtfulness. Make your spouse a priority. Speak purposefully.

Take These Actions: Give thoughtful gifts. Express gratitude when receiving a gift. Small things matter.

Avoid Doing This: Forgetting special occasions, unenthusiastic gift receiving.


Communicate through: Uninterrupted and focused conversations. One-on-one time is crucial.

Take These Actions: Create special moments together, take walks and do small things with your spouse. Weekend getaways are huge. 

Avoid Doing This: Being distracted when spending time together. Long stints without one-on-one time. 


Communicate through: Use action phrases like “I’ll help do…” They want to know you’re with them. 

Take These Actions: Do chores together. Make them breakfast in bed. Go out of your way to help alleviate their daily workload. 

Avoid Doing This: Making these requests of others a higher priority, lacking follow-through on tasks big and small. 

A relationship in which both people can understand, respect, and appreciate each other is very  fulfilling.  If you want more, read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Hopefully, this helps you and your spouse express love in a way the other feels it.