Chantel Cohen - CWC Team of Therapists in Atlanta

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March 2018

3 Steps to Connecting with Your Passion and Exercising Self-Care

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We’re already starting to see blooming flowers and longer days to remind us that a new season has arrived. I love Spring because it always feels like a fresh start, even though we’re 3 months into the year. (Can you believe it?) This is the time where most of us start our Spring-cleaning lists to whip our home back into shape.

Last week I encouraged you to add your relationship to that list and shared the importance of checking in with your partner. This week, I’d like you to put your name on that list. It’s no secret that we often focus on taking care of business, family, friends, even strangers and forget to care for ourselves. If you’ve been following my Facebook page and keep up with my blog, you know I’m a strong advocate for self-care, which comes in various forms. From getting a manicure—that goes for the guys as well—to reading a good book, self-care is all about doing whatever it takes to make you happy.

Whether it’s your home or your soul, clutter can be chaotic and stressful. Just like your home, your body and mind needs to be revived and refreshed regularly in order for you to function as your best self.

Pamper Yourself

One of my greatest pet peeve phrases is, ‘be a little selfish.’ The sad reality is for generations our society associates self-care with selfishness. Going for monthly massages is often viewed as an anomaly. This is one of the core reasons why we often neglect ourselves—the guilt doesn’t feel so good. It’s okay to pamper yourself in any way you’d like; it doesn’t always have to be a spa day or a guys/girls night. Take yourself on a date, travel, go to the movies or check something off your bucket list. It can even be as simple as vowing to not take work home.

Get out of Your Rut

No judging, just nudging you a little—sometimes doing what you love to do takes some hard work. Responsibilities can often get in the ways of our passion and hold us back from the things we used to enjoy. I get it, you have to work, take care of the kids, make time for your spouse and sometimes you get tired. But you also have to fit yourself into your schedule. Set an hour aside to start writing and reading again, take an art class, go out and meet new people. Rekindle the fire with an old passion and stick with it.

Examine Your Healthy Lifestyle Regimen

Regular exercise not only takes care of your mind but your body as well. You don’t have to commit to five times a week if you’re just getting started. Try working out three times a week from home to start yourself and gradually intensify your workouts until you’re ready to graduate to the gym or even a personal trainer. Let’s not forget about your diet as well. Healthy eating is essential for your mental and even emotional state. Incorporate energy-boosting foods to increase your productivity and daily mood.

Incorporate positive affirmations in your personal Spring-cleaning regimen to help you commit to these self-care tips.

 

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

3 Signs Your Partner is the Source of Your Relationship Insecurities

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We’ve all experienced insecurity at some point in our life, especially when it comes to significant others. Sometimes we question ourselves to the point where we wonder why another person would be interested in us. Does he notice my stretch marks? Why hasn’t she responded to my last message? Did he just like that girl’s picture on Instagram? These are all insecure thoughts some people have we when we’re just not feeling confident in ourselves and our relationship. In this case, you’re in charge of understanding and working through those insecurities in order to love yourself more. However, if your partner’s actions make you doubt yourself or the strength of your relationship, there’s a larger conversation to be had. Here are signs that your partner may be the source of your insecurity.

He/She Puts You Down

You should be the apple of his/her eye. If your partner rarely has nice things to say about you, why are they with you? This is a serious question to bring up, as that type of negativity can have a lasting impact on your emotional and mental health. In most cases, people put others down to lift themselves up.  However, this treatment should not come from someone who says they care for you and your well-being.

You Feel Like an Outsider

If you and your partner are six months into your relationship and you still feel like an outsider, chances are it’s not in your head. Does he/she attend events without you and avoids introducing you to friends and family? There are a variety of reasons that could explain his behavior, but it’s not something you want to ignore. If he/she is excluding you from important parts of their life, it could leave you feeling insignificant, and the trust in your relationship can dwindle.

He/She Compares You to Others

If your partner has a coworker or friend that they can’t stop raving about and they are giving you the notion that they want you to be more like that person, it’s time to speak up. Having a work wife/husband can be normal for some, but a boundary is being crossed if your partner decides you should pull your hair back like Rebecca or you should lighten up like Rob. This can weigh on your security in yourself and open the door for doubt in your partner. Suddenly the idea of cheating comes to play. I’d like you to consider though that your partner may say these things innocently without realizing the impact it’s having. So I’d suggest expressing how his/her statements are bothering you and give them a chance to apologize and stop the comparisons.

If that talk runs the risk of getting a little heated, here are three rules to help you both fight fair while you try to work it out.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

How to Rekindle the Connection in Your Relationship

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Have you made your Spring-cleaning to-do list yet? Spring is the perfect time for rejuvenation—not just for your home, but also for the bond between you and your partner. So while you’re reminding yourself to deep clean the refrigerator and rain gutters, don’t forget about your relationship.

Why is Spring Cleaning Important for my Relationship?

Over time we tend to get comfortable in our relationships and develop behaviors that frustrate our partner and vice versa. It’s natural, but when these behaviors turn into reoccurring habits, they can put a strain on your connection. This is why it’s important to take time to communicate with your partner and ask, ‘Is there anything I can do to make you happier in this relationship?” Use this as a starting point to create your Spring-cleaning to-do list.

How Else Can I Spring Clean My Relationship?

It’s no secret that one of the biggest problems between couples is lack of communication. Another way to clean up the connection in your relationship is to communicate more effectively with your partner. If you have a problem—whether it’s big or small—just say it (in a calm tone of course.) I often find that passive aggressive behavior develops when expectations aren’t made.

One of the most common statements I hear is, “He/She should just know to do this.” But unfortunately, that’s not always the case. So for the health of your relationship, it’s important to opt for more open communication. Bottling up the fact that he/she never does something as small as washing the dishes can turn into a bigger argument than it needs to be. It’s much easier and more effective to have an open conversation about both of your expectations and work towards making one another happier.

It doesn’t have to be all serious and formulaic. Go somewhere quiet that makes you both comfortable, whether it’s your bathtub or a park and just start talking.

How Often Should We Spring-Clean Our Relationship

Spring-cleaning doesn’t have to happen once a year in your relationship. I recommend sitting down and having an in-depth and honest conversation about how you both are feeling in your relationship at least every season. People change over time and in order to grow with one another, rather than apart it’s essential to remain on the same page. You can talk about whatever is important to the both of you, whether it’s family, kids, vacation time, sex, trust, chores or date nights. And it doesn’t have to be all serious and formulaic. Go somewhere quiet that makes you both comfortable, whether it’s your bathtub or a park and just start talking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmOfltRBAjE

 

Are you struggling with forgiveness in your relationship? This reasoning may be just what you need to break through those barriers.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

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How to Identify and Relieve Your Workplace Anxiety

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Workplace anxiety is real. Many people don’t even realize they’re being affected by these constant feelings of worry, or self-doubt. It can manifest in several different ways. Here are a few signs you can look out for:

  • Always worrying about a deadline
  • Constantly checking emails outside of work in fear that you will be criticized for not responding immediately
  • Avoiding conversations with colleagues who you feel are difficult to talk to
  •  Constant fear that you will lose your job
  • Trouble sleeping because you’re thinking about work
  • Fear of speaking up in meetings or
  • Avoiding recreational outing with colleagues

These situations can be caused by anxiety and can actually affect your performance at work. There are a number of reasons why people find themselves practicing these behaviors, which can be related to past experiences, self-esteem and even gender and race. Chantel touched on women dealing with anxiety in the workplace in her latest Facebook Live chat. It’s essential to identify the source of your anxiety to work towards an effective solution. Start asking yourself questions like, “why am I avoiding,” and “how does this make me feel.”

Here are three ways you can relieve anxiety while at work.

Set Realistic Deadlines

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to finish the job in one hour, when you know it will take two. Not only will you have to work faster, but you’ll be worried about making your deadline, which can actually slow you down or affect the quality of your work. You also run the risk of missing your deadline, which can affect your performance at work. If your supervisor has set the deadline, kindly ask for more time or assistance to produce the quality results that meet the standards of the organization.

Say “No”

This can be hard for a lot of people but sometimes it can be good for everyone. Pleasing everyone and meeting their needs means neglecting your own. If you’re dealing with a heavy workload, it’s okay to say that when several people are trying to pull you in several different directions. Saying ‘no’ occasionally—especially to bizarre requests—can lower your stress levels and actually is a form of self-care.

Converse with Colleagues

It can be about anything. If you overhear someone talking about a TV show you love or a hobby you’re interested in, don’t shy away from joining in. Get to know your colleagues and allow them to get to know you. It makes it much easier to work with people you can relate to and trust. And the more you talk to them, the more comfortable you will be asking for help, speaking up in meetings and joining them for after-work drinks.

If you’re having trouble identifying the source of your actions and these techniques aren’t inspiring changes in your behavior, it may be time to consider seeking the help of a therapist or life coach.

I have two more scientifically proven methods that can increase your happiness at work and in your personal life. And they are very easy to do.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

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Researchers Find That Combining Mediation & Exercise Can Reduce Depression

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We often associate so many negative emotions with hitting the gym.

“I don’t have time.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

“It hurts!”

But it’s a good hurt though, and I’m not just saying that. We actually release ‘feel-good hormones called endorphins after working up a sweat. We also have similar excuses for skipping out on mediation. But I’m a major advocate for both because they can truly make you happier and are great forms of self-care.

Let’s get a little scientific for a minute.

Every day the learning division of our brain called the hippocampus produces thousands of neurons. However, stress can cause strain on this process and decrease the production of those neurons. This is where getting active and exercising your mind comes into play. Exercise and mediation combined can significantly increase those cells, which improve your brain function and overall mental health.

At the end of the study, every student reported that they spent less time focusing on problems and were able to prevent negative thoughts from reoccurring

Researchers at Rutgers University conducted a two-month study that involved 22 students who were diagnosed with depression and 30 students who were mentally healthy. Twice a week every student was required to take part in Focused Attention Mediation, in which they remained focused on their breathing for 30 minutes. Their mediation was followed by a 30-minute aerobic workout. At the end of the study, every student (including the ones deemed mentally healthy) reported that they spent less time focusing on problems and were able to prevent negative thoughts from reoccurring by managing problems more effectively.

“By learning to focus their attention and exercise, people who are fighting depression can acquire new cognitive skills that can help them process information and reduce the overwhelming recollection of memories from the past,” says Tracey Shor a professor in Rutgers’s Department of Psychology.

Committing just one hour to your mental health can create a domino effect and impact the way you handle stress at work and home.

Even if you’re not battling depression, exercise and mediation can both improve your mood and help you deal with problems. Committing an hour to your mental health can create a domino effect and impact the way you handle stress at work and home. Focusing on negativity and stress takes up time and can decrease productivity. Even taking a 20-minute break in the middle of a hectic day to meditate can help you relax and focus on the task at hand. Can’t find time to go to the gym? Try working out at home. The key is making exercise and meditation more convenient for you. It will be so much easier to incorporate them into your routine so you can reap the benefits.

Have you forgiven yourself lately? Learn how to do it and why it’s an essential part of your self-care.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

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