November 2018

November 28 2018

Your Partner Feels Secure in Your Relationship if They Are Doing This

Chantel blog, Couples Corner, Relationship Advice 0

When we think about trust in a relationship, it’s almost always associated with infidelity. However, there are other experiences that can cause a lack of trust in your relationship. These past experiences or current insecurities can make someone uneasy and closed off in a relationship about their family, friends, career life, body image, childhood, and the list goes on.

But there are also clear signs that show your partner is feeling good about the dynamic that you both have created. So much so, that they don’t have a problem expressing these three actions.

They ask for help.

This is a sign of vulnerability because they are admitting that they don’t know something, or how to do something. It shows that they are willing to rely on you to help them out with judging that you don’t have all the answers. It’s commonly overlooked, but this simple step of asking for help is more of a big deal than couples think. When you both start dating, you want to be your best selves and sometimes that means doing everything yourself and tucking away shortcomings in order to impress the other person. But when your partner feels that they can come to you for help, it should be an amazing feeling to know that they can count on you to show up for them. Even if you don’t know the answers, they have exercised trust, and that’s a major sign of security.

They allow you to have your own friendships.

Your partner doesn’t need to be involved in every aspect of every relationship that you have. And if they respect that space, this shows that they feel they have nothing to worry about. They understand that your friend doesn’t take their place, sometimes you will need separate meet-ups with friends, and friends of the opposite sex are just friends. This sends the signal that they trust that your friends have your best interest at heart, and they aren’t threatened by your outside relationships. Your partner trusts you in this case and is secure in the fact that they are important to you as well.

Apologies shouldn’t be taken lightly, because they can be a sign of vulnerability. It shows that your partner wants to repair your relationship in the hopes that you will extend forgiveness.

They apologize

It takes a lot for many people to admit that they made a mistake, especially to their significant other. But if your partner is not afraid to say, “I’m sorry,” and acknowledge when he/she has messed up, it shows that they don’t feel that they are less of a person by apologizing. They feel secure enough to know that they don’t have to be perfect at all times. Apologies shouldn’t be taken lightly, because they can be another sign of vulnerability. It shows that your partner wants to repair your relationship in the hopes that you will extend forgiveness.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

November 21 2018

Physical Things You Can Do To Manage Your Mental Health During the Holidays

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There’s something about family gatherings during the holidays that can send stress levels skyrocketing. This year, we’re starting a new tradition, to enjoy the spirit of the holidays despite the drama that often comes with family and old friends. Last week we were more strategic and smart about using responses and mental habits to reduce stress. Now let’s talk about how taking care of your body can also take care of your mind over the next few weeks.

Sleep and Exercise

Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep, if you take medication for anxiety or depression. Now is not the time to stop. If you are just starting medication, it can take some of them two weeks to get into your system for maximum benefit. Exercise is not only an antidote to stress, but it also elevates our mood and helps to lower anxiety.

Meditate

One powerful technique is to visualize how you are going to interact with family members. Picture yourself having a good time. See your family getting along and enjoying a meal together. I want you to feel and act as if your goal of having a wonderful holiday meal with your family is a reality. The brain does not know the difference between what you visualize and what is. Visualization is a powerful technique that activates the subconscious powers of the mind. It can help us be more nimble and creative in the moment. In other words, you are training your brain for performance.

Manage your blood sugar and hormone levels.

Too much sugar and alcohol will increase insulin and cortisol. The insulin spike from sugar will make you tired and the cortisol will put your body in fight or flight mode. Do you ever notice how during the holiday’s someone is either arguing or leaving in a huff? That is cortisol at it’s finest. I know you may be thinking, “it’s not me that I am worried about, it is my family.” But whether it’s your cortisol levels or your families behavior, you can be triggered as well. So avoid drinking on an empty stomach and eat in moderation.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

November 14 2018

3 Smart Ways to Manage Mental Health Over the Holidays With Family

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For most of us, managing our mental health during the holiday season feels more like we are walking through a minefield—one wrong step and KABOOM!

Let’s just be honest here; family can make us lose our minds. The reason that the holidays can be stressful with family is because of the old wounds that are often forgotten about or buried for most of the year. However, a holiday family gathering can act as a trigger to bring up those issues. Things that we thought were non-issues seem to resurface. Also, family does not always fight fair.

Here are three ways to manage your stress during holiday family gatherings.

Politely Shut Down Negativity

If you know that your mother-in-law triggers you with her passive aggressive comments, repeat them back to her. For example, if your mother-in-law says, “the house looks lived in” as soon as she walks through the door, you can say as you welcome her, “the house looks lived in?” Pose your mother-in-law’s statement as a question.

Many times people do not hear their words as they are coming out of their mouths. All you’re doing is allowing her to hear her words out loud by repeating them in question form. This strategy also lets your mother-in-law know that you hear her and that she may have to say more about that statement. It also sometimes it puts people on notice that they cannot just make statements and without having to answer for them. It is a direct non-confrontational way of dealing with passive-aggressive behavior.

Plan to Have Fun

Play Pictionary, card games or do karaoke. You can even enjoy a family flag football game. As long as you are not too competitive, games and activities can be a fun. It’s a way for your whole family to bond and reduce the stress of the holidays.

Detour Drama with a Plan

This lowers anxiety and increases the probability that you don’t get injured. Be strategic; where do you run for cover? If you have two sisters who don’t get along and you are expecting the usual showdown between them, plan ahead. How are going to manage the situation? Leave the room, go for a walk, or talk to each one of them before the holiday season.

You could frame the conversation about your hopes and wishes for the holiday, then move the conversation towards goal setting. How can we make this the best Thanksgiving ever? Talk about the meal, division of labor, and also how to make everyone feel welcomed and supported. That way you can begin the conversation about potential conflicts and how to manage them. Illicit everyone’s help to make this the best holiday gathering ever! Use some of the strategies that I have outlined in this article. Having a strategy and knowing what works is the best defense!

If you’re holding on to any pain that a family member or your partner caused, I have a theory about why it’s so hard to forgive. Try to resolve this issue so you can both enjoy a fun and loving holiday season.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

November 9 2018

3 Ways to Build a Loving Long-Lasting Marriage With Your Partner

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“Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is hard.”

I’m sure you have seen or heard his quote used in primetime dramas, romantic comedies, and relationship blogs—guilty. But it couldn’t be truer. The courting stage and even the first few years of marriage are usually filled with pure bliss. Your both madly in love and can’t spend enough time together. If you fast forward a few more years and the compliments and cuddles aren’t as consistent.

It’s normal, but the trick is to not get stuck in this rut. Don’t let time create space between you and your partner. Instead, make conscious decisions to maintain that strong bond you both had when you couldn’t keep your eyes or hands off of one another.

Speak to One Another

I’m not talking about discussing bills or parent-teacher conferences. Keep the focus on one another. The first question you both ask when either one of you walks in at night should be, “how was your day?” Take a few minutes to talk about how one another felt throughout the day, what happened and even throw in an “I missed you.” Sometimes we feel these emotions throughout the day, but don’t remember to communicate them later on. Set time aside a few times throughout the week to connect without distractions—no TV, phone or emails. You can even set a time to hit the sheets a little earlier.

Just touching your significant other’s hand can let them know “I’m thinking of you,” and “I’m here.” Whether it’s a hug, kiss or touch on the shoulder, anything that brings you together physically can connect you emotionally.

Touch One Another

Just placing a hand on his leg, or wrapping your arm around her neck as you relax on the couch can incite a connection without talking. It gives you a lot of time to reconnect. It can say “I love you,” “I missed you,” or “I care.” Just touching your significant other’s hand can let them know “I’m thinking of you,” and “I’m here.” Whether it’s a hug, kiss or touch on the shoulder, anything that brings you together physically can connect you emotionally. It doesn’t have to be sexual or lead to sex, but it is always intimate.

Have Foreplay All Day

Yes, you can leave one another to go to work and still engage in foreplay throughout the day. Who says foreplay only happens through physical touch? This is when couples think outside the box and have fun, just like in the early dating stages. Keep that same energy and initiate foreplay before you leave in the morning. Here’s an example:

After saying your goodbyes, whisper, “I can’t wait to come back home and see you later.” Then during the day, send a text, or even voice message saying, “I can’t stop thinking about you. You looked so gorgeous/handsome this morning.” When you’re leaving work, send another text or give them a call and say, “I’m excited to be heading home so I can hold you tonight.”

These messages aren’t blunt or sexual per se, but that’s the beauty of them. They will make your partner feel a special, intimate connection that you both will want to act on later that night.

Strengthening your communication in a relationship can also strengthen your bond. Here’s what you should keep in mind when speaking to your partner.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

November 2 2018

3 Reasons Why You Gain Weight in a New Relationship and How to Avoid It

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They call it happy weight, but is it really?

Six months down the line when you’re getting ready for another date, and you realize your favorite jeans feel a tad more snug than usual, you may not feel so happy. There are a number of reasons why we gain weight when we find someone that makes us smile at just the simple thought of them.

If you’re in that ‘happy and he/she can do no wrong’ stage, you may identify with some of these scenarios. And if you’re deep into a relationship, or focusing on yourself, think back to the time when you were in this phase.

You’re Wining and Dining Regularly

A major part of dating someone new is going out or staying in to get to know one another. Either way, these dates normally involve food, and many times the couple isn’t ordering baked salmon with a side of quinoa and kale. Whether you’re eating out or ordering in, you’re most likely indulging in comfort foods and cocktails.

Fix: Set a limit on the number of nights per month that you will both eat out. Then plan other interactive date nights that involve activities, like bowling, tennis, dancing or hiking. You can even attend a cooking class that promotes healthy recipes or have date nights where you both cook a healthy dish together. Occasionally swap your cocktails for tea, or go on coffee dates. This will help you both mix things up in your relationship, so you don’t get stuck in a routine.

You’re Ditching Gym Days for Date Days

Spending time with your new beau often takes priority over other extracurricular activities in your life, like the gym. It can be easy to miss a couple of gym sessions to accommodate the new man/woman in your life. But when a couple turns into three weeks in a row, it can be harder to get back into your fitness regimen.

Fix: This is a simple fix. Go to the gym together and motivate one another to stick to a routine. Of course, you’re not always going to be able to do every session together, but this will help you avoid skipping the gym so often to see one another. If you need to compromise with your schedule, you can also cut one session a week down to 30 minutes.

You Don’t Need to Impress Anyone New

Many people believe that because they aren’t looking to attract anyone new and they’re being showered with daily compliments that the work is over. There’s no need to make much more of an effort. We’ve gotten over the hump of trying to appear absolutely perfect, and now that we’re a bit more comfortable with one another, there’s no need to make that much of an effort.

Fix: This is where many couples go wrong. When you both met, there were certain things attracted your partner to you and vice versa. So when you stop making significant changes like, going to the gym, reading, spending time with friends and family, enjoying your hobby, you’re stripping away the things that he/she liked about you. It may not be apparent to them at first, but one day they will feel like you’ve changed and you may even feel the same.

And let’s not avoid the subject of physical appearance. Sure your partner is supposed to like or love you for who you are. But it’s also important to want to continue to impress your partner, through the courting stage, through your engagement, and through your marriage. This is a key contributor to helping you maintain a happy, healthy and exciting long-term relationship.

If you or your partner is having a bad day, these two activities can help to lift your spirits.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

November 2018

Your Partner Feels Secure in Your Relationship if They Are Doing This

They ask for help.

They allow you to have your own friendships.

They apologize

Physical Things You Can Do To Manage Your Mental Health During the Holidays

Sleep and Exercise

Meditate

Manage your blood sugar and hormone levels.

3 Smart Ways to Manage Mental Health Over the Holidays With Family

Politely Shut Down Negativity

Plan to Have Fun

Detour Drama with a Plan

3 Ways to Build a Loving Long-Lasting Marriage With Your Partner

Speak to One Another

Touch One Another

Have Foreplay All Day

3 Reasons Why You Gain Weight in a New Relationship and How to Avoid It

You’re Wining and Dining Regularly

You’re Ditching Gym Days for Date Days

You Don’t Need to Impress Anyone New

Schedule a FREE Phone Consultation With Us

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