November 2019

The holidays are expected to be a joyful time spent with family. However, it isn’t always that way. Sometimes, passive-aggressive comments & invasive questions can put you in uncomfortable positions and just downright make you unhappy. The strife can sometimes be so intense that you may have second-guessed being around certain family members the following year.

Before you begin stressing out and allowing the drama to ruin your holiday mood, below are a few tips to help you deal with the family drama this season.

Inspire Fun Activities

While you cannot control everything that happens with family during the holidays, you can definitely spark some fun activities that could positively shift the mood in the room. Encourage your family to go around the table and share one thing that they’re grateful for, starting with you. Other fun activities to consider are bringing interactive games to play and bringing funny movies for everyone to watch. All of these ideas can help to encourage group participation and set a light-hearted mood

Don’t Let Them Control Your Feelings

Always remember that no one can control your emotions without your permission. You can’t stop your family from asking rude questions and bringing up controversial topics. But you can control your feelings and reaction. It’s simple. Don’t engage. You can even say, “Let’s not get into that” or “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” No one can force you to engage and before you become too overwhelmed, remember that you don’t have to sit there and absorb what you can’t handle. Remember that you can respectfully get up, walk away, and continue to enjoy your holiday.

Consider Their Perspective

As challenging as it may be dealing with certain family members, sometimes it helps to understand where they’re coming from. We only see some family members once or twice a year. As annoying as family can sometimes be, they love you. Many of their comments aren’t intended to hurt your feelings, but to help you consider an alternative option. Many of their questions aren’t meant to be invasive, but to get an update on your life, considering their limited opportunities to see you and engage in personal conversations. Knowing that your relatives mean well might not suddenly make you happy about their questions and comments, but it should help you take it not so personally.

Don’t let your family burst your holiday bubble. Decide that you will remain positive, enjoy yourself, and avoid the negativity. Commit to it. Regardless of your family’s opinions of your life’s decisions, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Also remember that their opinion of you is more of a reflection of them, rather than of you. What they think about you is not who you are.  

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Depression has many faces and many symptoms. Some bold and some subtle. If you or someone you know may be dealing with depression, it’s important to not only recognize the signs of it but also understand it. Listed below are a few common signs of depression and how to handle it as a loved one, and as a person experiencing it.

The Common Signs Persistent Sadness

Feeling sad at times and happy at others is just part of the ebb and flow of life. What should be alarming is when sadness starts becoming overwhelming and persistent. Overwhelming and persistent sadness is common in people with depression. After the overwhelming, persistent sadness takes over, a sense of hopelessness sets in, making it difficult to see the good in any situation. This hopelessness can make even the simplest of tasks seem like giant obstacles that can’t be overcome.

Loss of Interest

Depression can take the enjoyment out of everything that you once had an interest in. You no longer have the desire to participate in hobbies, sports, going out with friends, and even having sex. Even when you do participate in these activities, they don’t feel as pleasurable, fulfilling, and joy-filled as before.

Isolation

Right after the loss of interest, isolation follows. The isolation can urge you to pull away, and shut down, resulting in feeling lonely and distressed. Isolation isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, taking a break to recuperate is what a person needs in order to be the best version of themselves. Isolation can increase productivity, allow us to recharge, and even assist us in learning more about ourselves. However, lacking social connections and constantly feeling lonely are signs of too much alone time.

Irritability

Some people with depression have #unexplainable mood swings. The mood swings present themselves as irritability and the irritability becomes frustration and angry outbursts. Over the smallest matters, nothing seems to go right.

Difficulty Concentrating

Depression can make it difficult for you to focus, remember, and even make decisions. People suffering from depression are sometimes less productive at work and school.

Suicidal Tendencies

Many people experience suicidal thoughts when depressed. Suicidal tendencies can include increased use of alcohol, a noticeable increase or noticeable decrease in food intake, making comments about dying, doing risky behavior like using drugs or driving recklessly, randomly having a gun around, knives, or pills.

Low Energy

Depression can make the simplest tasks and activities take extra effort. People with depression may sleep too much or not sleep at all. Sometimes, even after a good night’s rest, they may still feel tired.

What Loved Ones Can Do

Depression is not something that people can easily “snap out of”. It does not take a day for depression to come about and it does not take a day for it to all go away. Many people describe the feeling of depression as being in a deep dark hole and many others don’t recognize or acknowledge their depression.

Family and friends that notice symptoms of depression should continuously invite the depressed loved one to participate in social activities (no matter how often they seem uninterested), remain patient as you help. Even if the depressed loved one constantly declines the invitations, family and friends should still call and visit. The topic of depression should not immediately be brought up, but over some time of listening and asking questions, the option of seeking professional help should be mentioned.

Help should always be carefully suggested and not aggressively forced, or else the depressed loved one could pull away even more. It’s important for family and friends to constantly assure their loved ones that regardless of what is said, they won’t be judged, that no matter what, they can be relied on, and that this feeling and situation will not last forever.

What People Suffering From Depression Can Do

With depression, the desire to do anything is difficult, but being active can combat depression. It’s important for people suffering from depression to attend social events, welcome calls, visits, and check-ups from loved ones. The more isolated a person is, the more depressed they could become.

• Set Personal Goals: Depression isn’t something that can immediately go away. specific goals. Daily goals and affirmations of a few things that you are grateful for, sorting out a stack of mail, talking a walk in the park, going to the gym, or watching a comedy can help you to forget you’re depressed
• Know it’s only temporary: Despite what thoughts and feelings you have, understand that everything your mind may be telling you isn’t completely accurate. You may feel hopeless and lonely, but that may not be the reality.

If you or someone you know may be experiencing depression, it may be time to consider a therapist. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can release. Therapy can also help identify the cause of one’s depression and offer ways to enjoy life again.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.