February 2020

Sometimes, we’re too focused on own our faults and other times, we’re too focused on other people. It’s good to think about others and to be honest about our own mistakes so that we learn from them, but a proper balance is so necessary for a healthy you. Never be so distracted that you forget about loving yourself. Last week, we began the topic of self-love. This week, we’re continuing the topic by giving more examples of ways to love yourself.

Enjoy your own company

Too often do people only have fun when others are around, but you can have fun by yourself. You can take yourself out on dates, enjoy your favorite show and a snack at home alone, take trips by yourself, & you can even find new things to try. These activities can teach you so much about yourself.

Trust Your Self

Imagine how confident you feel when someone trusts you and how much closer to them and happier you are with them. Now, imagine how distant, maybe even hopeless, you feel when someone close to you doesn’t trust you. This is exactly how it feels when you don’t trust yourself. You feel insecure about your decision-making skills and not quite in tune with your intuition. Trusting yourself is a good way to show self-love. Often times, we know exactly what’s right, but we allow self-doubt to creep in. We also usually know what’s best for ourselves. Follow your instincts and stand confident in your decisions.

Take Care Of Yourself

When you love something or someone, you take care of it/them. You should do the same with yourself. Taking care of yourself is a great way to practice self-love. You can practice self-love by eating well, exercising, having proper sleep, and having healthy social interactions.

Keep A Journal

There are so many benefits to keeping a journal. A journal can help to keep your thoughts organized, it can boost memory, and can help you self-reflect. Writing in your journal can be one of those activities you do right before bed to relax and whine down because it relieves stress. Keeping a journal is also a great way to monitor your life. You can write down your goals, write down your daily eating, and even write down every week something about yourself that you like. The latter may take some time getting used to, especially for people that don’t often focus on the positives about themselves. Every week, you can write down something positive about yourself and focus on that thing for the week. It can be a physical trait or an accomplishment. Sometimes we tend to follow the crowd & put value only on the things that society says is valuable. For example, teeth structure, hair texture, skin tone, body type, certain jobs, abilities, interests, or social status…but what if you don’t mirror society’s beauty standards and you’re just fine with that? What if the things about you that were made fun of, you don’t actually hate? What if you’re really content with your working middle-class life? It’s okay to love every inch of yourself-even if others don’t (you’ll find that many of those people don’t truly love their own selves anyway). You can focus on those things about yourself and write them down every week…physical traits, accomplishments…etc.

Don’t allow your insecurities to make you believe they’re small or insignificant.You will always be around yourself. Why not learn to like you? Self-love is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Self-love is critical for genuine happiness. People sometimes think of “on-the-surface” things when the word “self-love” comes to mind… things that involve caring for one’s physical appearance. While up-keeping your physical appearance is a part of self-love, it’s much deeper than that. To learn to truly love yourself, you have to look introspectively and dig deeper.

Accepting What Is

No matter what your current situation is, accept it. Accepting where you are in life doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to make things in your life better, but accepting will make you stop dwelling on the past & stressing about the future, and begin focusing your energy on the present. This will bring peace of mind, which makes for a better you.

Making Yourself Your Number A Priority

When you care about someone, it’s easy to put their needs before yours. While it’s not a bad thing to care about the desires and feelings of your loved ones, also remember what you need and how you feel. Before you immediately jump to making someone else comfortable, first consider how doing so makes you feel. If someone is constantly saying or doing something that hurts you, drains you, or makes you feel any negative emotion, it’s your job to allow it no more. Make your feelings a priority. If you constantly disregard your feelings and needs, and if you constantly put the desires of others before yours, you could eventually become drained. If you’re drained, you can’t be the best version of yourself and you won’t have anything to give yourself or others. This is why it’s so important to put yourself first and take a break to recharge.  

Stop Criticizing Yourself

Many people are too harsh on themselves about the smallest shortcomings. People beat themselves up in their own head for their appearances, mistakes on the job, in relationships..etc.  Remember that whatever you constantly tell yourself becomes your reality. If you say to yourself how fat, stupid, ugly, or unworthy you are, it becomes your truth and you begin to live and respond to the world as that (fat, stupid, ugly, or unworthy) person. Remember that nobody is perfect and everyone has fallen short of a goal. Be easy on yourself and give yourself grace and love.

Next week, we will continue the topic of self-love. Remember that no one can love you the way you can love yourself. You have so much love & compassion inside of yourself. Be sure to give some to yourself. 

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Have you ever snooped around your partner’s belongings? Have you ever looked through their phone, in search of specific pictures or personal messages? Perhaps you snoop right now on your current partner, or maybe it’s something you did in the past that you aren’t opposed to doing again if you ever suspected dishonesty from your partner. Below are four points to consider about snooping and your relationship. 

The Golden Rule

You know the golden rule that says” Treat others the way you want to be treated”? Imagine how you would feel if your privacy was invaded…if someone spied on you or went through your personal belongings. Snooping is essentially spying and being dishonest. And if you really think about it, it’s doing the very thing we’re afraid of our partner doing -being dishonest. 

Snooping Feeds Fear

When you snoop, what you actually fear is your partner engaging in activities that you disapprove of (spending huge amounts of money without your knowledge, being sexually involved with other people, hanging out with friends that are bad influence). There’s a world of things you can imagine that could be happening and when you snoop, it only feeds your fear. It doesn’t take much for your fears to be fed, but with a little encouragement (snooping), it can grow into something enormous that can consume your mind. Once you’re in this state, it’s difficult to think rationally and you usually keep looking for things to prove your fear is real. 

It Breaks Trust

 We all know how long it takes to open your heart up to someone and start trusting them, but it only takes a moment to destroy it all, and it can be even harder to build that trust up again once it has been broken. Maybe you feel that your partner has broken the trust between you, but snooping around will only worsen the trust issue and make your partner feel insecure about you being around their personal items. Many people want to retaliate once they’ve been hurt, but revenge doesn’t heal anything. It only worsens the issue and your partner may never get over you snooping. 

Snooping Can Lead To Stalking

Snooping can be a gateway behavior into stalking. At first, snooping can seem harmless, but what starts out as just looking through someone’s phone can lead to checking their computer, then driving by to see if your partner really is where he/she says they are and who they’re with. Snooping is a slippery slope.

If you suspect that your partner is being dishonest, don’t snoop around for confirmation of your suspicion. Talk to your partner about your feelings. The reality is that even if you don’t have proof of your partner being unfaithful, once you are suspicious of them, there’s a problem in your relationship and you need help. Consider a therapist to help create a safe space and healthy exchange for you and your partner to discuss this very serious matter. Mistrust and insecurities should not be taken lightly and will always be a hindrance from a healthy relationship and a happy you. Not to mention, cheating (if your suspicion about your partner is accurate, then you’ll definitely need the help of a therapist). You will need the help of a therapist to help you and your partner get back on the right track. You don’t have to solve your relationship problems on your own. 

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.