One of the most common mistakes people make when entering a relationship is expecting happiness. When we enter a relationship with the hope that our new partner will make us happy, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. We’ve heard people talk about this and seen quotes everywhere about it—true happiness comes from within. And it does. We need to be happy with ourselves before we enter a relationship.
When you choose happiness first, it’s easier to:
- Spot red flags early-on
- Avoid codependency
- Show your partner what makes you happy
- Feel secure in yourself if he/she leaves or hurts you
- Know your worth and accept nothing less.
Here are three more emotional needs that we should not expect our partners to meet.
Things may get heated and passionate between the both of you, but you can’t rely on your partner to fulfill or define your passions are in life. This is something you need to discover within yourself. Following your partner’s passion or going with who someone else wants you to be can lead to resentment and unhappiness in the future. It’s much better to discover that passion for yourself and know that it’s something that makes you feel alive.
You should already know how smart, funny, good-looking, and incredible you are as a person. Hearing it from the person you love is just icing on the cake.
It feels amazing to hear your partner tell you how amazing and beautiful/handsome you are right? Of course! But these compliments should be confirmation, not validation. You should already know how smart, funny, good-looking, and incredible you are as a person. Hearing it from the person you love is just icing on the cake. If we seek confidence from someone else, we’ll never get a handle on our insecurities. When those compliments stop or don’t come at the right time, we will still have those feelings of self-doubt. Positive affirmations are a great start to help you build up self-confidence and make the changes to make you feel better about your insecurities.
Healing from past heartbreak is a process that should happen before you enter a new relationship. Following up a seriously toxic relationship with another relationship can taint your new relationship. You can’t fix your broken heart by having someone else fill that void. Healing takes time; it’s hard to heal yourself when you’re focused on being with someone else. Those feelings may be pushed aside temporarily until they start to penetrate your new relationship and cause more problems. Having a healthy relationship requires a healthy heart.
Another emotional need your partner can’t fulfill for you is self-care. Learn how prioritizing your happiness and self-care is important for the health of your relationship.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.