June 2019

June 18 2019

3 Unique Qualities to Bring to the Table (Other Than Looks & Money)

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Modern day society equates finances and physical appearance with the quality of a person. Unless you’re living somewhere off the grid, it can be challenging to not be, somehow, affected by mainstream society. But there’s so much more to offer in a relationship besides good looks and a lot of money. Below are 3 unique qualities that you can bring to the table that’ll enrich your relationship.

A PEACE OF MIND

Good looks are always a plus, there’s no denying that. However, possessing good looks doesn’t immediately equate to a strife-free relationship. Having a peaceful, strife-free relationship is important in order to grow together in a relationship. So, how does one bring peace of mind to a relationship? To create peace in your relationship, you must first be at peace within yourself. How? By accepting your true self & by enjoying and appreciating the present (rather than regretting the past and being stressed about the future). This, of course, is not to be in denial or ignore life’s issues. But rather, choosing to deal with the issues when it is time, and not being overwhelmed by then. It’s all a choice.

VULNERABILITY

Vulnerability is the driving force of connection in any relationship. It’s impossible to connect without it. Too often is vulnerability seen as weakness. The word alone can conjure thoughts of possibly being hurt. But the choice of vulnerability is actually a very brave one. It’s true that allowing ourselves to be vulnerable comes with opening ourselves up to judgment and disappointment, however, vulnerability is the key to having closer, more intimate, and ultimately more satisfying connections.

SUPPORT

Being supportive can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Your version of support may be completely different than your partner’s, but one thing’s for sure…everyone wants to feel supported. For you or your partner, support might be sweet, motivating texts throughout the work day, or maybe even preparing dinner after a long, tiring day. For others, support might be an encouragement to keep goals and to follow their dreams. Before immediately delving into “full support mode”, be sure to ask your partner what support looks like to them… or you might end up doing more damage than good.
Remember…in a relationship, it’s better to focus on who you are, rather than what you have.

Sex life can fizzling out? the good news is there are ways to get it sizzling again. Take a look at your options.

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

June 11 2019

Financial Red Flags in a Relationship

Let’s be honest, no matter how sexy you find your partner, there’s nothing sexy about financial irresponsibility.

It can be difficult to spot an issue when you’re head over heels in love with your partner– but have no fear! I’m here to help you spot the financial red flags.

We’ve all chosen to ignore certain red flags in relationships and some red flags may be easy to spot. Financial red flags, however, can take much longer to recognize.

Below are a few behavioral patterns to look out for.

The False Achiever

If you’re an adult and you live in the United States, you probably have ( or have had) credit card debt. It’s common, like a right of passage to becoming an adult. A partner with a large amount of credit card debt, however probably wasn’t on your wish list. Having credit card debt isn’t necessarily a red flag.
Someone who has racked up credit card debt because of unnecessary shopping and living way above their means is different than someone who has incurred credit card debt from emergency spendings due to unplanned unemployment.

Difficulties Maintaining Employment

Anyone can lose a job just as fast as they gain one. Staff reduction, company-wide layoffs, & company relocation are a few reasons for job loss. Losing a job on its own is not a red flag. What’s important is the reason for the job loss. A red flag indicator is a person who constantly loses jobs for trivial reasons–reasons such as absenteeism, problems controlling ones’ temper, & chronic lateness are all red flags.

Dishonesty

Lying can destroy the foundation of trust. If you find out that your partner is lying about their personal finances, you may feel angry, confused, and hurt. Remain as calm as possible during this conversation with your significant other. For many people, admitting a huge error is not always easy, especially when the other person is angry. Find out the reason for the lie in order to fully understand the gravity of the situation.
Discovering certain things about your partner can be very discouraging. Rather than immediately freaking out and running in the opposite direction, discuss financial matters and find out exactly why he/she is in the current state. This will help you to better understand the situation and give you more clarity on how to proceed.

Be vigilant. And above all else, keep an open mind and understanding heart.

Sex life can fizzling out? the good news is there are ways to get it sizzling again. Take a look at your options.

June 4 2019

A Guide to Having ‘The Talk’ About Finances

Chantel blog, Couples Corner, Relationship Advice 0

When you’re in a relationship, discussing finances probably isn’t on the list of favorite topics. Some would rather crawl under a rock, than discuss their finances. According to a new survey,”Some (people) may be hesitant to reveal poor past decisions or may be concerned that financial details could change the landscape of the relationship,”

In a relationship, there should be no stone left unturned. Discuss everything! Yes, everything… even the topics that feel uncomfortable.

Below, I’ve listed a few mistakes that couples make regarding their finances and resolutions that can be made to help,

One Person Solely Handling the Finances

The relationship consists of two people, therefore there should be two people involved in the handling of finances. Often times in a relationship, this isn’t the case. Sure, sometimes, there may be one “financial nerd” between the two of you (someone that prefers doing all of the calculations and is more eager to handle the finances) and that’s okay. But there should never be only one person handling the finances 100% of the time. Learn to budget as well, ask your partner to help you understand money handling tips. Report strange charges on your account. In no relationship should only one person be making 100% the decisions.

Not Making Financial Goals

Too often, couples assume that being in love automatically means that both parties share the same financial goals. It’s normal to have different financial goals at first. However, as a couple, it should not remain that way. Find time to write down and prioritize each of your financial goals, then share your goals with each other, and implement them.

Not Sharing Their Earnings In a Relationship

It isn’t very common for both parties to make the same amount of money. Typically, one person makes more money than the other.

Those extra zeros at the end of a paycheck could make one person feel they have leverage over the other. Making the most money could also give a false sense of entitlement in (1) disregarding the financial agreements made in the relationship & (2) control/solely determining how and where the other partner spends money. These issues of control will undoubtedly lead to strife and possibly resentment. Remember that you and your partner are on the same team. This does not mean that each person is not allowed financial autonomy. As wise as it is to save, it’s also just as wise to have money aside, each month (or however often the two of you decide) to splurge.

So many missteps can (and probably will) be made while managing money with your partner. Remember that we are imperfect beings and all subject to make financial mistakes. Be patient with yourself,
create a budget, save and enjoy the money you’ve worked hard for!

If you need assistance on this, or any other challenges, we can help. Contact us for your free 30 minute consultation.

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