“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein
Now, I’m not saying you’re insane or crazy—I don’t think that’s the point of this quote. But it certainly puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? When we seek out the same types of men and women, accept the same type of treatment and continue to settle, we experience the same feeling.
Yes, dating can be difficult. But continuing the same patterns only makes things even harder, sometimes excruciatingly slow. At some point, your mindset should be shifted from what’s wrong with them or what’s wrong with me to how can I do this differently.
If you haven’t experienced these approaches to dating, pull out your resolutions list and start making some additions. You never know what can happen when you step outside that box.
Go on Blind Date
Have a friend or family member introduce you to that secret someone they’ve been dying to set you up with. Think about it—who knows you better than your loved ones? They have your best interest at heart and want to see you happy. Give your date a real chance, and it may just go further than you’d think.
Attend a Singles Event
Everyone in the room will have one thing in common—they’re trying to find someone they connect with romantically. These events can often get a bad rep for being filled with singles who are desperate to get into a relationship. But these labels or assumptions shouldn’t keep you from trying something new. Find a few events that look appealing to you, check out the comment sections to see the types of people attending, and maybe have a friend tag along if it makes you feel more comfortable. There may be a few like-minded people who are broadening their horizons just like you.
“What if he/she turns me down.” Well, the worst thing they can say is, “no.” And you know what—it’s just a word. You can walk away and never have to see that person again.
Use an App
If you’ve never done online dating, you can’t really say, “it’s not for me,” can you? Give it a few swipes on Tinder or Bumble and set up some dates before you reject it completely. The good thing is you both have a chance to text and talk on the phone before that first date, which can take some of the pressure off. This can help you get to know one another a little building a base for your conversation and connection when you do get together for the first time. And if you’re not interested, you never have to see him/her again. Just do them the courtesy of letting them know, rather than ghosting.
We’ve all painted a picture of what our future spouse looks like, as well as the life we’ll build together. However what you think you want, may not be what you actually want
This is a major move, especially when you’ve never done it before. However, it’s one that I strongly encourage. There’s a sense of liberation and confidence that comes from making the first move, especially when the person doesn’t expect it. Now I know what you’re thinking: “what if he/she turns me down.” Well, the worst thing they can say is no. And you know what—it’s just a word. You can walk away and never have to see that person again. And if you do run into them, focus on the fact that you were brave enough to take a chance, and maintain that confidence by being polite. Say hi, and keep moving.
Even if a few of these dates don’t lead you to prince charming or the girl of your dreams, these are experiences that are necessary for you to learn more about yourself. Dating helps you to decipher what you truly like from what you don’t. We’ve all painted a picture of what our future spouse looks like, as well as the life we’ll build together. However what you think you want, may not be what you actually want, which is why branching out and being open-minded in your dating life is essential to finding the right person for you.
When going on these dates and meeting new people keep in mind these emotional needs that your future partner won’t be able to meet for your happiness. This can help your expectations when entering a new relationship.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.