The Importance of Forgiving Yourself and How to Do It
Forgiving someone who hurt you is undoubtedly one of the hardest things to do. But what if that person is you? It can be a hundred times harder.
We can be our worst critics without even realizing that we’re tearing ourselves down.
“I’m not good enough.”
“They’ll never go for my idea.”
“I’m so lazy.”
“He or she is way out of my league.”
These types of thought run through our minds very often as punishment for not living up to a standard we set for ourselves. When we skip the gym for 2 weeks, make a mistake on the job, or just face rejection from someone—we tend to beat ourselves up and internalize that disappointment and shame.
Three of the most freeing words you can express is “I forgive you.” We’ve already acknowledged that it’s not easy, but you’ll be so much happier once you do.
Here’s a little help:
Pinpoint the Pain
There’s a reason that you make negative comments about your weight, success or character. Did these feeling stem from someone else’s criticism of you, have you not met your goals, are your feeling lonely?
Identifying the source of your hurt is the first step in mending your relationship with that part of yourself. This will help you work on that aspect of your life and start to forgive yourself.
We can sometimes judge ourselves so harshly that we start to believe others are judging us.
Be Realistic
We tend to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves and set timelines for situations in which we have limited control. If you desired to be married by 35 or you really wanted that management position that was handed to your coworker, it’s okay to feel disappointment. But they aren’t reasons to put yourself down.
Focus on what you have down and what you can still do to continue to fight for your desires. You still have time. Incorporating positive attributions in your routine can put you on a path to achieving these goals. This is a great opportunity to improve yourself and take the necessary steps to get what you want.
Accepting, embracing and loving yourself is one of the best confidence boosters out there.
Accept yourself
We can sometimes judge ourselves so harshly that we start to believe others are judging us. You are the best person to be yourself—quirks and all. There are ways that we can improve our character, our skills and our life overall to create the best version of ourselves. But your genuine interests, your features, your swag—and everyone has one—is makes you unique.
Accepting, embracing and loving yourself is one of the best confidence boosters out there. And it’s one of the best ways to forgive yourself.
Self-forgiveness is a form of self-love and self-care. Loving and taking care of yourself is not a selfish act. It attracts other people in your life who will care for you that way you deserve. Set an example or how friends, coworkers, family and even your significant other treats you, and start with self-love.
Learn the 3 reasons why it can be hard to forgive certain people in your life
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.
