We get this question all the time: “How can I be a better husband/wife?”
There are certain habits we have as individuals that can cause ongoing conflict in relationships. Sometimes this manifests in the form of constant arguments, passive aggression, or even growing apart. But before it gets to the latter stage there are steps you can take as individuals or as a couple to strengthen your relationship.
‘Thank you,’ can work wonders for a relationship. Truth is, sometimes we can forget to express appreciation for certain things our partner does for us. It’s human nature for people to feel like we are being taken for granted when we don’t hear those two magic words. Whether it’s as small as him/her getting you a glass of water, or leaving you a funny note to put a smile on your face, keep gratitude alive in your relationship. If he takes the kids out for an afternoon so you can enjoy a couple of hours of relaxation, it will make him feel good to know you appreciate the little things.
Showing appreciation also motivates them to continue to do the things you love. You can even take it a step further and show them how much you really appreciate them with a random act of kindness. Just be sure to make it clear that you are saying ‘thank you.’
Sure, you and your spouse share similarities but you may also have different upbringings, different experiences, and different outlooks on life. This can cause you to have your own set of expectations on how you should be treated. But that doesn’t mean your partner knows them all. Often times, we mistake this lack of knowledge for lack of care, and that’s when conflict arises.
Just spending time with yourself or with your own friends can draw you closer as a couple.
You don’t have to lower your expectations to match his/her actions and you don’t have to lash out. Communicate your feelings and expectations to your partner, whether you’re frustrated about who cooks dinner, or how often you are intimate. Make sure this conversation is a dialogue, and you’re both discussing the problem and reaching the solution together.
Take time away from one another
It’s true; absence does make the heart grow fonder. Just spending time with yourself or with your own friends can draw you closer as a couple. We’re not saying to do this every week, but every once in a while you deserve a girls/guys night out. Or even a trip away from your partner
Often times, we get so wrapped up in being a husband/wife—especially when parenthood rolls around, that we lose ourselves are as individuals. It’s okay to take a few hours or a few days to spend time with yourself.
There’s no reason to hide the fact that you’re trying to improve yourself from your spouse. Talk to them about the steps you want to take to grow as a couple and strengthen your bond. You can even share this blog post with them and take these steps together.
Stay on the lookout for 3 Simple Ways You Can Become a Better Spouse for your Partner: Part II coming next week!
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.