Oprah.com: A Guide to Aligning as a Couple During “Sandwich Season”
The sandwich generation has been making national headlines for a while now. More and more, people are either talking about or experiencing for themselves what it means to care for aging parents while raising children of their own. Often, the sandwich generation is doing all of this while holding down full-time or part-time jobs. It puts an immense amount of responsibility on the family unit. This is especially true for women who not only carry more of the invisible mental load of their households —roughly 70% to be exact—but also more of the very visible day-to-day physical tasks. The latest numbers show that 64% of women in the sandwich generation report being at their “breaking point” due to the toll.
I’m seeing a new trend emerge in my work with high-achieving women. Although they aren’t a part of the sandwich generation, they’re in what I call a “sandwich season.” They’re not caring for two different generations at once, but instead fostering a budding relationship while raising a family at the same time. It’s similar in the mental, emotional, and physical strain it takes.
These are women who are getting married for the first time later in life than previous generations, many of them in their late 30s and early 40s. As a result of trying to compensate for feeling “behind,” they’re experiencing a compressed timeline: juggling career peak + fertility decisions + first home. I’m seeing shorter and shorter dating and engagement periods, which means couples have less runway to establish a foundation before making these big life decisions. Altogether, this creates a uniquely high-stress period for newer couples. It becomes less of a honeymoon phase and more of a project management phase. The relationship gets pushed to the back burner as other responsibilities pile up.
I’m seeing a new trend emerge in my work with high-achieving women. Although they aren’t a part of the sandwich generation, they’re in what I call a “sandwich season.” They’re not caring for two different generations at once, but instead fostering a budding relationship while raising a family at the same time. It’s similar in the mental, emotional, and physical strain it takes.
These are women who are getting married for the first time later in life than previous generations, many of them in their late 30s and early 40s. As a result of trying to compensate for feeling “behind,” they’re experiencing a compressed timeline: juggling career peak + fertility decisions + first home. I’m seeing shorter and shorter dating and engagement periods, which means couples have less runway to establish a foundation before making these big life decisions. Altogether, this creates a uniquely high-stress period for newer couples. It becomes less of a honeymoon phase and more of a project management phase. The relationship gets pushed to the back burner as other responsibilities pile up.
