Relationships are about compromise.
We all know this to be true, but here’s the thing – everything shouldn’t be up for compromise. That’s where many couples or individuals reach a misunderstanding. Sure compromises are important for happy, healthy relationships, but there are important things in your life that shouldn’t budge just because of your significant other isn’t in agreeance.
You know those silly arguments about what movie to watch or what color to paint the walls – those are compromisable subjects. It’s the little things that you both care about but doesn’t affect your sense of being. Let’s dive deeper into the compromises you should never make in your relationship.
If you feel like you need some space from your partner, this is nothing to worry about. It’s normal to want time to yourself every once in a while to recharge and just be with yourself. When you’re spending time with your partner, chances are, you’re making compromises that can sometimes take away from what you want. During that alone time, you’re in complete control, and that’s necessary from time to time. So if you’re ever feeling the need to stay home one night or getaway for a few days, your partner should respect that you need your space.
Your Social Life
Speaking of free time, this includes the time that you dedicate to your friends. There will be days when you need time alone and days when you need to connect with someone other than your partner. Those are your friends, family, and even coworkers. Your social life will shift once you enter a relationship, and especially when you get married, but that doesn’t mean that you exclude people from your life. This is not something that your partner has the right to ask of you. Maintaining the friendships that you had before and even after he/she came along is essential to avoid codependency and have a strong support system.
Passion is a major part of what makes you authentically you. These are the interests that make you happy, and your happiness should never be up for debate. If you are truly passionate about video games or hip hop dancing and this is what you’ve always loved to do, don’t give that up. In the long run, it does affect your relationship. If you aren’t doing things that bring you joy outside of your relationship, it can cause trouble internally. When you keep up with your weekly dance classes and see your partner later that evening, you get to express your excitement and share a piece of yourself with him/her. Even if he/she isn’t interested in dancing per se, they are interested in you which should be reflected in the conversation.
Don’t do it. You’ll think the relationship is worth it, he/she is worth it, you won’t find a love like this again, but let’s face it – you won’t be happy. If you compromise the values and beliefs that are important to you, you may grow resentful of your partner over time. It’s so much easier to be yourself, rather than pretend to believe in something you don’t for the contentment of someone else. Sure, there will always be room for us to grow and evolve into better people and partners, but your partner is not in control of who you are and what your principles are. There will be things that you can form a middle ground or agree to disagree on, and there may be deal breakers that require a bigger conversation. Open communication is important in these instances, so you both are on the same page and respect each other’s beliefs.
These five questions seem light-hearted and fun, but you’ll be surprised how much it will reveal about your partner. Find out what they are and start asking.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.