How to Communicate With Intent for a Successful Long-Term Relationship

man and woman holding flowers in a field

Has anything amazing in life come about from someone just winging it?

Sure some things come naturally to people, but even they work at their gifts to improve and perfect them. Your relationship is no exception to this. Even the top love gurus and relationship coaches have to work hard to have a successful long-term relationship. And the best way to do this is with intentionality.

Going with the flow may work when you just start dating, and you’re too caught up in the thrill of the honeymoon stage to care about your differences and pet peeves. But eventually, it will come to a time where you’re not as willing to overlook the fact that he leaves up the toilet seat or she talks through every movie you watch. And that’s the least of your worries, what happens when you want to move in together, or you start talking about raising children?

Many times people compromise on things that their not comfortable with and give up something they really value, which can welcome bitterness and resentment in your relationship.

These are serious conversations to have in a romantic partnership, and a major part of making it work is listening and acting with intent. When you have these conversations, be sure you both understand where the other is coming from. Come up with a plan that involves both of your values and wishes—which may take some compromise—and stick to that plan. Just be sure that you’re both being honest with yourselves and you agree to something that you both want.

It’s also important that these conversations continue. Set up dates to check in with one another to make sure you’re both still working towards the same goals and want the same things. People evolve and change; it’s only natural. If you’ve found that you or your partner doesn’t want the same things that you agreed on a few years ago, it’s okay to have that conversation. This just means you both need to get back to the drawing board and talk it out. Getting the help of a couple’s therapist will also help you communicate effectively in order to work out a new game plan for your life together.

Communication is essential to building and maintaining a healthy relationship. And if you’re afraid to open up to your partner, there may be a larger problem in your relationship that needs addressing. In this case, I would strongly advise speaking to a couple’s therapist to help you uncover the problem that’s holding you back.

Overanalyzing can cripple the communication in your relationship. Watch out for these signs and how it can impact your relationship.


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