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January 31 2018

3 More Simple Ways You Can Be a Better Spouse: Part 2

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Last week we introduced three simple ways you can improve yourself as an individual to get closer to your partner. We talked about the importance of gratitude, expressing expectations and allowing well deserved ‘me time.’ This week, we have three more steps you can take towards building a closer relationship with your spouse.

Don’t Take too Much Drama to Mama

Try to avoid spilling too much to friends, your mom (many of us have been guilty of this once or twice), or your siblings. We’re not saying you can’t confide in a trusted friend. But running to someone other than your partner every time you have a disagreement doesn’t do much to resolve what’s going on in your relationship. The only people who can ease your concerns and remedy the problems are you and your partner—IF you both communicate.

If you find that you’re not being heard in your relationship, let your partner know—calmly. Screaming, “YOU’RE NOT HEARING ME, “ is most likely not going to insight change in his/her behavior. Instead, sit your partner down, and express how they make you feel. When we lean more on our emotions rather than what we view as reality, it is received better by others.

For example, instead of saying, “You don’t listen to what I have to say,” try “I often feel like you’re not hearing what I really want from you, and that can be frustrating for me.”

Without understanding your spouse’s definition of showing love, they may continue to feel unsatisfied in your marriage.

Learn their Love Language

Bestselling author Gary Chapman established the theory that we all have one primary and secondary way that we prefer to receive love. These 5 love languages are:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

Without understanding your spouse’s definition of showing love, they may continue to feel unsatisfied in your marriage. We often find that people show love based on their own love language. Think about it: if you enjoy hugs, back rubs, and cuddling in bed, your love language is clearly physical touch, so that’s naturally how you would show love. But if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation he wants to hear, ‘I appreciate you tucking the kids in tonight, babe,’ or ‘I’m proud of you,’ and may not see cuddling as a sign of love.

What’s the best way to identify your partner’s love language? Communication! Take the love languages test, and have an open and honest dialogue about how you both enjoy being loved.

Lack of quality time can distance you both without you even realizing.

Put the Phone Away

Don’t just turn it down on the coffee or dinner table. Physically put the phone away. Whether you prefer to leave it on silent in another room or put in on do not disturb, make sure it’s in a place where you would be tempted by notifications to check work emails or texts.

You may not realize how much more time you spend liking and commenting on Instagram than actually speaking to your partner. Even if you’re both guilty of being glued to your phones, this can still hurt your relationship more than you know. Lack of quality time can distance you both without you even realizing.

Mend that disconnect by designating uninterrupted time for you and your partner to talk about your day, eat dinner together or play a game. Who says married couples can’t Netflix and chill?

Looking for more tips that will help you and your partner strengthen your relationship? Head over to our Facebook page!

At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

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January 24 2018

3 Simple Ways You Can Become a Better Spouse for Your Partner: Part I

We get this question all the time: “How can I be a better husband/wife?”

There are certain habits we have as individuals that can cause ongoing conflict in relationships. Sometimes this manifests in the form of constant arguments, passive aggression, or even growing apart. But before it gets to the latter stage there are steps you can take as individuals or as a couple to strengthen your relationship.

Show Gratitude

‘Thank you,’ can work wonders for a relationship. Truth is, sometimes we can forget to express appreciation for certain things our partner does for us. It’s human nature for people to feel like we are being taken for granted when we don’t hear those two magic words. Whether it’s as small as him/her getting you a glass of water, or leaving you a funny note to put a smile on your face, keep gratitude alive in your relationship. If he takes the kids out for an afternoon so you can enjoy a couple of hours of relaxation, it will make him feel good to know you appreciate the little things.

Showing appreciation also motivates them to continue to do the things you love. You can even take it a step further and show them how much you really appreciate them with a random act of kindness. Just be sure to make it clear that you are saying ‘thank you.’

Avoid Assumptions

Sure, you and your spouse share similarities but you may also have different upbringings, different experiences, and different outlooks on life. This can cause you to have your own set of expectations on how you should be treated. But that doesn’t mean your partner knows them all. Often times, we mistake this lack of knowledge for lack of care, and that’s when conflict arises.

Just spending time with yourself or with your own friends can draw you closer as a couple.

You don’t have to lower your expectations to match his/her actions and you don’t have to lash out. Communicate your feelings and expectations to your partner, whether you’re frustrated about who cooks dinner, or how often you are intimate. Make sure this conversation is a dialogue, and you’re both discussing the problem and reaching the solution together.

Take time away from one another

It’s true; absence does make the heart grow fonder. Just spending time with yourself or with your own friends can draw you closer as a couple. We’re not saying to do this every week, but every once in a while you deserve a girls/guys night out. Or even a trip away from your partner

Often times, we get so wrapped up in being a husband/wife—especially when parenthood rolls around, that we lose ourselves are as individuals. It’s okay to take a few hours or a few days to spend time with yourself.

There’s no reason to hide the fact that you’re trying to improve yourself from your spouse. Talk to them about the steps you want to take to grow as a couple and strengthen your bond. You can even share this blog post with them and take these steps together.

Stay on the lookout for 3 Simple Ways You Can Become a Better Spouse for your Partner: Part II coming next week!

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation

January 12 2018

How Positive Affirmations Can Help You Build Success

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“In order to carry a positive action, we must develop here a positive vision.” –Dalai Lama

No, those people who look into the mirror every day and tell themselves aloud they will be successful aren’t crazy—they’re driven. Despite tough circumstances, pushing positivity into the atmosphere surrounding them leads to more change than focusing on negativity. Many people think that optimism and hope set us up for disappointment if they fail. However, it’s actually the ‘prepare for the worst’ mindset that sets us up for failure.

What are Positive Affirmations?

Positive affirmations encourage us to envision the reality we want for ourselves, and those around us. It helps to attract our desires in life, whether it’s that’s love, happiness, friends, good health, or success. Changing your state of mind affects your subconscious, and you’d be surprised how much effect your subconscious has on your path in life.

When we think and speak positively, we feel better. We wake up chipper in the morning, get through the day with more energy, and life seems to run smoother. Allowing every bump in the road to get you down and thinking negatively can stunt the growth you want to see in various areas of your life.

How’s It Done?

Sure, it’s as easy as writing positive statements down, but there’s a simple technique to forming action-oriented affirmations that will help you get the best results.

Make them Positivity-Based

Affirmations should always be formed in positive statements. Rather than saying I don’t desire to eat fast foods and drink soda, you can say, “I eat a healthy diet that makes me feel good.”

Talk in the First-Person

When saying your affirmations, start them off with “I” to make them identity statements, which motivate you to make that change. We’ve all heard ‘you are what you eat,’ but you’re also what you speak. Affirmations like, “I am confident,” “I am beautiful,” and “I enjoy exercise,” help to condition your mind and attitude into believing your positive statements, despite what anyone else has to say.

Remain in the Present

Write your affirmations as if they are in the present, rather than the past or future. Instead of saying, “I will be healthy and happy when I start eating better,” rephrase it to say, “I am healthy and happy.” The first statement could actually enable you to delay your healthy eating plan. It may feel silly to say something that you don’t believe is true, but remember, these affirmations work as fuel for your action.

Say Them Daily

In order for your affirmations to work, they must be done at least once a day. With the hustle and bustle of work, traffic and children, it can be hard to forget about your positive phrases. Work it into your daily routine by saying them in the morning while you’re getting ready for work and at night when you’re preparing for bed. You can also leave notes in visible areas like your mirror, computer or fridge.

Sure, we all have bad days, but when those bad days turn into bad weeks and bad years, it’s time for a change. Whether you’re unhappy with your body, your work, your friendships or your love life, a positive mindset may be just what you need.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

January 12 2018

How to Improve Communication and Prevent Heated Arguments

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“I put my foot in my mouth.”

“We got our wires crossed.”

“I heard through the grapevine….”

You certainly don’t want these phrases being said consistently throughout your relationship. Believe it or not, it can actually make or break your relationship. Constant miscommunication or lack of communication can make room for bitterness, confusion and resentment to enter your relationship. Not the type of words you want associated with you and your partner right?

Poor communication is the reason why a simple argument about taking out the trash can escalate to months spent on a friend’s couch. From dating to marriage, effective communication is essential through every aspect your relationship. And since we all have varied experiences and personalities, our communication habits can affect our relationship without us realizing.

With these three communication techniques, even a couple that argues every other night can become one unit again.

Location, Location, Location

His company’s anniversary party is not the time to address why he liked another woman’s picture on Instagram. This scenario is more common than you’d think. Choose your battlegrounds wisely to avoid an argument from escalating further than it should. Your relationship is between you and your partner.

No good can come from airing your personal grievances to your coworkers or family members. It’s also wise to refrain from bringing up an issue before heading out to a public event. It sets the tone for the entire night and no matter how much you both try to smile through it, others can pick up on the tension.

Words can bite and sometimes we can take really big chunks out of the people closest to us

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What it Means to Me

It means a lot to your partner. Words can bite and sometimes we can take really big chunks out of the people closest to us, especially when they’ve hurt us. We understand emotions can take over during an argument, but it’s important to remember that you are in control of yourself. Try to remember that this is the love of your life you are speaking to—the person you’ve chosen to devote yourself to.

During arguments, try to tame your emotions, so you don’t say anything in the moment that will leave a lasting effect on your relationship. There’s nothing wrong with asking for a few minutes to step away and resume a more calm discussion later.

One Discussion at a Time

You may think throwing in more ways your partner has annoyed you the past helps you ‘win’ an argument, but it just raises frustration. If you have an issue—whether minor or major—it’s always best to address it and move forward. It doesn’t help either of you in your relationship if you aren’t being honest about your feelings.

If a problem from three weeks ago still bothers you, choose a calm moment to privately address it and try to work through it together. If you’re still having a hard time moving on, consider having a discussion about seeking help through couples therapy.

Becoming a happier couple starts with becoming a happier individual. Positive affirmations can help you achieve whatever goals you have for your character, career and relationship.

Learn how speaking positively can help you blossom into the life you’ve always wanted for yourself.

If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.

Book your complimentary initial consultation.

couples therapy atlanta

3 More Simple Ways You Can Be a Better Spouse: Part 2

Don’t Take too Much Drama to Mama

Learn their Love Language

Put the Phone Away

3 Simple Ways You Can Become a Better Spouse for Your Partner: Part I

Show Gratitude

Avoid Assumptions

Take time away from one another

How Positive Affirmations Can Help You Build Success

What are Positive Affirmations?

How’s It Done?

Make them Positivity-Based

Talk in the First-Person

Remain in the Present

Say Them Daily

How to Improve Communication and Prevent Heated Arguments

Location, Location, Location

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What it Means to Me

One Discussion at a Time

Schedule a FREE Phone Consultation With Us

Thank you!