Marriage is all about compromise. If you had a nickel, right?
But you know what, it’s true. No relationship can work if compromise isn’t involved. We all come from different backgrounds, experiences and environments, which shapes us into different people. So regardless of if you’re in an ‘opposites attract’ type of relationship or a ‘one-in-the-same’ kind of partnership, there will be disagreements. But there are four very specific topics you’ll both have to find common ground on for your relationship to work long-term.
It’s important that you both have discussions about all of these aspects of your relationship to set up a solid, unified foundation. Avoidance of these discussions can lead to many future fights, separation or even divorce, which we definitely want to avoid.
You both can have different goals of course, but as a couple, it’s important that you have shared goals that you’re working towards together. These goals can include major life decisions like children, possible relocation and financial stability. Having these common goals established early on will save you from bickering matches and can even reveal whether you’re really meant for one another. Setting short term and long term goals gets you both excited for your future and give you something to work towards together. And think about the major celebrating you’ll do when you knock them out one by one!
Understanding what your partner needs to feel pleasured and appreciated in the bedroom is essential.
How often will you have sex?
What type of sex will you have?
What aren’t you comfortable with in the bedroom?
Sex is a major part of your marriage so these questions are more important than lots of people think. You both can talk about what’s on the table, what could be on the table and what’s definitely off the table in terms of your sex life. Understanding what your partner needs to feel pleasured and appreciated in the bedroom is essential. But if you’re not comfortable with something he/she wants you to do and vice versa, this can welcome resentment into your relationship.
There are many couples that grow up with completely different parenting styles, but that doesn’t mean they can’t form one of their own. Open the discussion about how many kids you want to have and how you plan on disciplining or not discipline them. Do you want to lead a ‘do as I say and that final’ household? Will kids be able to have input with your final say? Will they be free spirits with very few limitations? Kids can pick up on these disagreements, so it’s important that you both not only present a united front but also create a solid front you both agree on.
How you both handle money can make or break your relationship. When discussing your goals, remember to carve out some time for finances. If one of you handles money and saving better than the other, that person should probably take charge of the bills and savings accounts. Even if you decide to have separate accounts in addition to your joint account, I won’t advise hold secret accounts from your partner. Not only is this a major lie in your relationship but if he/she also finds out, trust in your relationship can take a major blow. Be open and honest about how you want to spend money, how much you’re willing to spend to spoil yourselves and how much you’re saving.
Another great way to know if you and your partner are meant to be? Find out what your first vacation together can reveal about one another.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.