The 5 Love Languages are 5 different ways of expressing and receiving love. Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they prefer to receive love. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these five unique styles of communicating love.
Here’s an overview of each of the five love languages:
Quality time People whose love language is quality time have a
strong desire to actively spend time with their significant other. They value active listening, eye contact, and their partner being fully present without outside interference.
Words of affirmation People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments. Words of affirmation are any spoken or written words that confirm, support, uplift, and empathize another person in a positive manner.
Acts of services People whose love language is acts of service like to be shown how they’re appreciated. They value things like being brought food when they’re sick, having help with chores, being made coffee in the morning when they’re running late…or anything that helps to make their life easier.
Gifts People with this love language value the symbolic thought behind gift giving : You feel loved when people give you “visual symbols of love,” as Chapman calls it.
Physical touch People with physical touch as their love language value physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch, and sex. They value the feeling of warmth and comfort that comes with physical touch.
Not loving someone the way they desire can, overtime, cause serious emotional damage on both sides. You run the risk of the person feeling unloved and you may end up feeling unappreciated. For a healthy relationship, it’s best to know how you and your partner both express and receive love.
Now that we’ve covered what Love Languages are, stay tuned for the next topic: How to Speak Your Partner’s Love Language
Everyone experiences stress and anxiety, but how you manage them makes the difference between feeling happy and frustrated from day to day. Check out these tips on managing anxiety and stress.
Take A Break
Sometimes, stress is a sign that you have overexerted yourself. Decide which tasks can wait for you to take a little break. Sometimes, we put ourselves under unnecessary pressure because of the personal deadlines we set. Putting off some tasks tasks can make space for self-care.
Don’t Believe Everything You Think
Stress and anxiety can lead to negative, scary thoughts. These overwhelming thoughts may seem like the truth, but remember that those thoughts don’t represent an objective reality. Sometimes, these thoughts are fear of a past situation reoccurring. Remember, just because it feels true, that doesn’t make it true.
Play Some Tunes
Listening to music can help to ease stress and anxiety. This is something that is so easily accessible to many of us. Play songs that can make you feel better. If you are feeling sad, avoid depressing love songs about loss and consider upbeat, happy songs. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, consider songs with a slow tempo to calm you down. Play songs that make you feel inspired and motivated. This can help to lift your mood.
Get More Sleep Evaluate your bedtime routine. Not getting enough sleep can contribute to a high-stress level. The average adult needs 7 to 9 hours of sleep. According to Mayoclinic.org, the quality of your sleep is just as important as the quantity. If your sleep is frequently interrupted, you’re not getting quality sleep. The quality and quantity of sleep can also affect cognitive performance.
Find A Wine Down Routine
Stress and anxiety can lead to restless nights and restless nights can lead to stressful, anxiety-filled days. It can become a cycle. For individuals struggling with getting adequate, uninterrupted rest, try setting aside at least 30 to 45 minutes to wind down before bed (suggested by Shelby Freedman Harris, PsyD, director of the Sleep-Wake Disorders Center at Montefiore Medical Center and an assistant professor at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York). During that window of time, you should limit anything that might be stimulating to your brain, including texting and computer work, she explains. “Keep a general schedule or ritual for that wind-down hour so your body and mind start to know that each step is one step closer to bed.”
Identify The Problem
Sometimes, the triggers that lead to your anxiety and stress are often repetitive. These could be include past due bills, laundry piling up, Recurring arguments, or deadlines at work. Once you identify what they are, you can begin working to eliminate them by planning ahead.
Plan Ahead
If financial deadlines stress you out, consider making a schedule. Make a list of all the things you need to accomplish the next day. Write down every task- big or small. You may be surprised how many little things you end up putting on the list, that you otherwise would’ve forgotten. Making schedules can help to reduce stress since you aren’t forced to rely on your memory. There are also online budgeting apps and financial advisors that can help you gain control of your finances.
Living a life without chronic stress and anxiety is possible, but it’s a process that requires planning, reflection, and perseverance.
About CWC Coaching & Therapy
Chantel Cohen
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts, and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, break through limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey – contact us.
Forgiving an offense isn’t always easy, but it’s possible. As difficult as it may be to forgive and let go, it’s much more difficult (and detrimental) to hold on to resentment, bitterness, pain, and anger.
Listed below are just a few benefits of forgiveness.
Health benefits According to mayoclinic.com, some of the benefits of forgiveness are fewer symptoms of depression, a stronger immune system,
lower blood pressure, and improved heart health. Forgiveness has even been associated with decreased stress and anxiety.
When you forgive, your overall health can improve and you can prevent future diseases.
Social benefits Research has shown that forgiveness can contribute to positive social interactions. It can also play a pivotal role in forming and maintaining healthy relationships and strong bonds. Forgiveness can help to promote an environment of peace and harmony, making it easier to coexist.
Emotional benefits Forgiveness helps you to become more understanding because it requires you to see things from someone else’s point of view.
It can also make you more compassionate to others, understanding that no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes,
and one day you could be on the other side, in need of forgiveness. Forgiveness helps you to focus on yourself and your life, rather than focusing on the past.
Forgiveness helps you to focus on who and what matters and the present, rather than the past.
Holding on to anger keeps you stuck in that moment, but when you forgive, you make space in your mind and heart,
making it easier to enjoy the present and to experience life in a more full way.
About CWC Coaching & Therapy
Chantel Cohen
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts, and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, break through limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey – contact us.
Abuse comes in many forms. Some are easy to spot, while some may be difficult to recognize. Some may not like how they’re being treated, but they may be afraid to speak up and label it as abuse.
Below are seven types of abuse that are very common today.
PHYSICAL This is typically the type of abuse that comes to mind when people think of the word “ABUSE”. Physical abuse includes punching, kicking, hitting, strangling, slapping, or physically restraining a partner against their will. Physical abuse can also include driving recklessly or invading someone’s physical space, and in any other way making someone feel physically unsafe. Physical abuse can start slowly, sometimes beginning with throwing objects pushing, or shoving.
MENTAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL This type of abuse happens when one person wears away at the other’s sense of mental well-being and health, through a series of actions or words. With mental or psychological abuse, the targeted partner begins to doubt their own sanity. Because the abuser tends to isolate the targeted partner, feelings self doubt creep in.
VERBAL Usually, verbal abuse happens in private and is often isolating. It can chip away at one’s self-esteem, making it more difficult for the targeted person to seek help. Verbal abuse can take many different forms, including name-calling, criticism, circular arguments, manipulation, condescension, accusations, withholding, threats, blame, demeaning comments, & gaslighting.
DIGITAL/TECHNOLOGICAL This form of abuse includes the use of technology to control and stalk their partner. Technological/digital abuse can happen to people of all ages, it’s much more common among teenagers. Examples of digital/ technological abuse are: Hacking into a partner’s email and personal accounts, using tracking devices on a partner’s cell phone to monitor their location, phone calls, and messages, monitoring interactions via social media, and demanding to know the partner’s passwords.
EMOTIONAL Emotional abuse can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation and manipulation. Emotional abuse can be compared to brainwashing. It systematically wears away at the person’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, and trust in their own perceptions. Emotional abuse can sometimes be disguised as giving constructive criticism, guidance, or giving advice. Although emotional abuse doesn’t leave the target with physical scars, it can have a huge impact on confidence and self-esteem.
SEXUAL Sexual abuse is sexual behavior or a sexual act forced upon a woman, man or child without their consent. Sexual abuse includes abuse of a woman, man or child by a man, woman or child. The list includes( but is not limited to):
Many victims of abuse don’t initially realize it’s happening. Each type of abuse is serious and no one deserves to experience abuse of any kind.
Sexual assault – a term including all sexual offenses, any action or statement with sexual nature done without consent from both sides.
Rape – insertion of a bodily organ or an object into the sex organ of a woman without her consent.
Sodomy – insertion of a bodily organ or an object into a person’s anus or mouth without their consent.
Attempted rape – attempted insertion of a bodily organ or an object into the sex organ of a woman without her consent.
Gang rape – rape carried out by more than one attacker.
Serial Rape – repeated incidents of rape carried out by the same attacker over an extended period of time.
Incest – Sexual abuse or assault at the hands of a family member
FINANCIAL Financial abuse is a common tactic used by abusers to gain control in a relationship. The forms of financial abuse may be subtle or overt but in general, include tactics to conceal information, limit the target’s access to assets, or reduce accessibility to the family finances. Financial abuse – along with emotional, physical, and sexual abuse – includes behaviors to intentionally manipulate, intimidate, and threaten the target in order to entrap that person in the relationship. Financial abuse is one of the most powerful forms of abuse, and a common method of entrapping a partner in the relationship. It is often given as the reason that targets of abusers stayed in or return to an abusive relationship.
Remember: You are strong, you will survive this chapter of your life.
About CWC Coaching & Therapy
Chantel Cohen
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts, and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, break through limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey – contact us.
Whether you’re newly dating or married, learning new things about your partner is exciting and can help you connect. Hearing about the weird eating quirks, the childhood stories, finding out that You share favorite things in common… These all make up some of the most exciting times. These discoveries can help you bond and they’re stepping stones for deeper conversations that can help you understand one another better.
Here are a few light-hearted questions and what they can help you learn about your partner.
“What’s your favorite childhood memory?” This question will give you a sense of your partner’s happy place & give you insight into their past and how they grew up.
“What are your top bucket list items?” This can reveal their goals and visions, without you having to ask the standard interview question we all hear; “Where do you see yourself in 10 years.” It’s also a fun, natural way to find out what your partner is currently into and what he/she would like to improve on in the future.
“What is a good decision that you made or wanted to make that many people were against?” Grab some popcorn because this is your chance to hear a good story about your partner. It will reveal a lot about their decision-making skills and their thought process in a difficult situation. You’ll see what types of things are important to them. It also shows you their level of courageousness, whether they did what they desired or listened to others around them.
Milk Chocolate or Dark Chocolate? I’ve noticed that many people who prefer dark chocolate tend to be more adventurous when it comes to food. They tend to enjoy more ethnic foods and are willing to try new dishes, while milk chocolate lovers are a bit safer in their food preferences. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There are some people who enjoy it all. This question can reveal whether your partner likes salty, sweet or bitter tastes, and also opens up the conversation for what type of foods they would be willing to try in the future.
About CWC Coaching & Therapy
Chantel Cohen
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts, and finding your purpose.
If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, break through limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey – contact us.
Remaining calm isn’t easy, especially in the busy, sometimes chaotic world that we live in. Living a stressful, chaotic life has become such a norm in our society that we often magnify individuals that have seemingly mastered the art of remaining calm in the midst of chaos. We often see such people with large followings. They write books, we see them in interviews, and we post their quotes all over our social media pages, hoping to someday have our lives together as them.
You don’t have to be a celebrity or publish a book. Your life does not have to be perfectly put together for you to begin cultivating the art of remaining calm. The art of remaining calm (though not always easy) is actually very simple.
Today, we’ll look at the different steps you can take to remain calm in highly stressful, chaotic situations… for our mental and even physical well-being.
People often want to intervene in chaotic situations in order to calm everything & everyone down, but it’s easy to get sucked into the chaos that way. While there’s nothing wrong with trying to diffuse an escalated situation, it’s important to remember that you cannot calm the world, but, you can calm yourself.
Conscious Breathing
We usually don’t put much thought into breathing, but as often as you can remember during your day, take slow, deep breaths. Deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. The next time you’re feeling anxious, try slowly inhaling deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. As you blow air out, purse your lips slightly. You can repeat this breathing exercise for several minutes and it can be done standing up, sitting down, or lying down.
Listen To Relaxing Music
What’s considered relaxing music will vary from person to person. Whatever music relaxes you, listen to it multiple times every day. Music has a powerful ability to relax our minds and bodies … it can even help us feel more joyful. Whenever you need to relax from a chaotic situation or need to prepare to enter a chaotic situation, play the songs that relax and uplift you.
Listening To Your Body
Our bodies are constantly sending us signals. Listen to them. You may need a rest day, a break…or you may just need some food & water. If there’s constant discomfort in your body & mind, speak with your doctor. Chronic, untreated stress can lead to disorders and sicknesses. Always listen to the signals your body sends. It could save you.
These tips should be practiced every day, so that when chaos hits, you have steps in place to help you remain calm. Remember. You have endured 100% of the obstacles you faced in the past.. and you will continue to not only endure, but conquer 100% of the obstacles that you will face in the future.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.
Take These Actions: Send an unexpected note, text, or card. Encourage them genuinely and often.
Avoid Doing This: Non-constructive criticism, not recognizing or appreciating effort.
PHYSICAL TOUCH-
Communicate through: Non-verbal-use body language and touch to emphasize love.
Take These Actions: Hug, Kiss, Hold hands, show physical affection regularly. Make intimacy a thoughtful priority.
Avoid Doing This: Physical neglect, long stints without intimacy, receiving affecting coldly.
RECIEVING GIFTS-
Communicate through: Thoughtfulness. Make your spouse a priority. Speak purposefully.
Take These Actions: Give thoughtful gifts. Express gratitude when receiving a gift. Small things matter.
Avoid Doing This: Forgetting special occasions, unenthusiastic gift receiving.
QUALITY TIME-
Communicate through: Uninterrupted and focused conversations. One-on-one time is crucial.
Take These Actions: Create special moments together, take walks and do small things with your spouse. Weekend getaways are huge.
Avoid Doing This: Being distracted when spending time together. Long stints without one-on-one time.
ACTS OF SERVICE-
Communicate through: Use action phrases like “I’ll help do…” They want to know you’re with them.
Take These Actions: Do chores together. Make them breakfast in bed. Go out of your way to help alleviate their daily workload.
Avoid Doing This: Making these requests of others a higher priority, lacking follow-through on tasks big and small.
A relationship in which both people can understand, respect, and appreciate each other is very fulfilling. If you want more, read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Hopefully, this helps you and your spouse express love in a way the other feels it.
The term “gaslighting” refers to the manipulation of someone, by psychological means, into questioning their own reality, perception, or sanity. The term originated from the 1938 play (and 1944 film adaptation) Gaslight, where the protagonist’s husband slowly manipulates her into believing she’s going mad.
Gaslighting usually takes place in relationships and social interactions where there is a power imbalance. A person experiencing gaslighting may become confused, withdrawn, or anxious and they may not realize the behavior is abusive.
Here are some common gaslighting phrases:
“You need help” “You’re just crazy” “It was just a joke” “You’re just insecure/jealous” “You’re too sensitive “You’re overreacting.” “You’re just being paranoid.” “You’re imagining things.” “That never happened.” “You’re just overthinking it.”
People experiencing gaslighting often find it challenging to trust themselves. Gaslighting is abusive, it can wreak havoc on the mind, and it’s damaging to relationships.
Stay tuned for the next topic: How to Handle Gaslighting
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.
Depression has many faces many symptoms. Some bold and others subtle. If you or someone you know may be dealing with depression, it’s important to recognize and understands the signs. Listed below are a few common signs of depression and how to handle it as a loved one, and as the person experiencing it.
Persistent Sadness
Feeling sad sometimes, but happy at other times is a part of life, but overwhelming and persistent sadness is common in people with depression. Once the overwhelming, persistent sadness takes over, a sense of hopelessness sets in, making it difficult to see the good in any situation. These feelings can make even the simplest task seem like a giant obstacle that can’t be overcome.
Loss of Interest
Depression can take the enjoyment out of many things you once had an interest in. A person may no longer have the desire to participate in hobbies, sports, going out with friends, and even having sex. Even when you do participate in these activities, they don’t feel as pleasurable, fulfilling as before.
Isolation
Right after the loss of interest, isolation follows. The isolation can urge you to pull away and shut down, resulting in feeling lonely and distant. Isolation isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, taking a break and distancing yourself for a while to recuperate is needed to be the best version of yourself. Isolation can increase productivity, allow us to recharge, and even assist us in learning more about ourselves. However, lacking social connections and constantly feeling lonely are signs of too much alone time.
Irritability
The mood swings sometimes present themselves as irritability, frustration, crying, and outbursts…over matters that didn’t seem to be much of a bother before.
Difficulty Concentrating
Depression can make it difficult for individuals to focus, remember, and even make decisions. People suffering from depression are sometimes less productive at work and school.
Suicidal Tendencies
Many people experience suicidal thoughts when depressed. Suicidal tendencies can include an increased use of alcohol, a noticeable increase or decrease of food intake, making comments about dying, abusing drugs, driving recklessly, randomly having a gun, knives, or pills around.
Low Energy
Depression can make the simplest tasks and activities take much more effort than before. People with depression may sleep a lot or rarely. Sometimes, even after a good night’s rest, they may still feel tired.
What Loved Ones Can Do
Watching your loved one deal with depression is hard. Remember that no matter how distant your loved one becomes, keep including them and keep checking on them. The topic of depression should not immediately be brought up, but over some time of listening and asking questions, the option of seeking professional help should be mentioned.
Help should always be carefully suggested and not aggressively forced, or else the depressed loved one could pull away even more. It’s important for family and friends to assure their loved one that regardless of what they do, and even if they don’t seek help now, they will still be loved and have a community.
What People Suffering From Depression Can Do
With depression, the desire to do anything is difficult, but being socially, mentally, and physically active can combat depression. It’s important for people suffering from depression to attend social events, welcome calls, visits, and check-ups from loved ones. The more isolated a person is, the more depressed they could become.
Set A Routine: Setting daily goals to work towards can give you something to look forward to, and help you feel more of a sense of purpose. You could also make a mental list of things that you are grateful for everyday, sorting out a stack of mail, talking a walk in the park, going to the gym, or watching a comedy can help you to forget you’re depressed
Know it’s only temporary: Despite what thoughts and feelings you have, understand that everything your mind may be telling you isn’t completely accurate. You may feel hopeless and lonely, but that may not be the reality.
If you or someone you know may be experiencing depression, it may be time to consider a therapist. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can release. Therapy can also help identify the cause of one’s depression and offer ways to enjoy life again.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.
Laughing feels great, but did you know that it can actually improve your health? Below listed are a few powerful benefits of laughter.
Social benefits
Laughter brings people together. We’ve seen that happen time and time again in movies and even in our personal lives. Laughter can strengthen relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection. Laughter is also a good way to diffuse a conflict because once someone starts laughing, it’s very difficult to stay mad. Be mindful, however, that making a joke during a serious time can be quite tricky, so be sure to use your best judgment and never laugh at someone else’s expense.
Physical Health Benefits
In an article written by mayoclinic.org titled “Stress Management”, laughter can actually induce physical changes in your body. According to the article, laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. It also states that laughter can stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation… both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress. Laughter can even protect your heart by improving the function of blood vessels and increasing blood flow. This can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.
Mental Health Benefits
Laughter releases endorphins. Endorphins are the body’s natural feel-good chemicals that promote a sense of well-being and relieve stress. Also, when we laugh, our cortisol level decreases (Cortisol is known as the stress hormone). Laughing can also change your perspective by helping you to see things in a new, less scary way and by helping you to take things less seriously.
Laughter isn’t just a quick pick-me-up thing. There are many long-term effects of laughter such as an improvement in your immune system. Choosing to think positively can release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.
Laughter is amazing and the best part is that it’s free! Laughter makes you a better person. So the next time you’re feeling down, turn on a sitcom or some stand-up comedy. If you’re constantly experiencing sadness, check out some joke books or find a few funny signs and decorations to put around your house or office desk to make you chuckle. Find a way to laugh about your own situations and very shortly, you’ll feel the worry begin to fade.
At CWC Coaching, our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. If you are ready to increase your self-awareness and happiness, breakthrough limiting behavior and understand your purpose in life, we’d love to help guide you on this journey.
We now offer online counseling sessions. Our team consists of licensed therapists, life coaches, and counselors. We assist clients with self-improvement, career development, negative self-talk, psychological pain, self-sabotaging behavior, past hurts and finding your purpose. Schedule a FREE call with us.
After you submit your email address you will be taken to the page where you can schedule the FREE call with us. On the next page please select the name of the counselor you would like to speak with and the date + time desired. Click here to learn more about our ONLINE COUNSELING OFFER. Note: this offer is for non-emergencies only. If this is an emergency call 911.
